I am swallowed by darkness; delivered into the inviting belly of the untamed, formless, abyss. An expansive mass of black and grey surrounds me, littered by fleeting glimpses of intangible thoughts that flicker electrically through the foggy veil of consciousness like holographic apparitions; their mysterious luminous light shining brilliantly, only to quickly dim and dissipate into thin air like vapor. My awareness floats serenely through the calm and soothing ambiance of the nebulous void, effortlessly directionless, unattached and unassuming.
As I drift, awareness is brought to my physical body as I notice the soft sensation of cold making gentle contact with the contours of my face. I observe as the single sensation transforms into many; my skin individually receiving each occurrence as each moment takes on a new unique flavor.
My hair is swept up in an upward spiraling crescendo of wind, animating nerve endings and sensory receptors as I am coaxed from my blissful, disembodied wandering into full acknowledgment of my physical presence.
I open my eyes to see a blanket of snow cascading down from the sky, the endless stream arcing towards me as I am propelled momentously forward through a dense forest in a large, red, wooden sleigh. The sleigh thrusts forward through the snowy landscape as towering, sugar-covered pine trees bend and flex in the wind like proper gentlemen, tilting their frost-brimmed hats as the sleigh whoooshes past. My eyes instantly settle on a sturdy cable that is fastened to the nose of my wooden chariot, just beyond my feet. Following its trajectory, my gaze is drawn down its length only to see a wildly moving pack of silver wolves fastened to its tether; their hot breath steaming white against the cold winter air as they mush diligently ahead in unified perfection.
I count twenty-one in all.
I watch as hind legs vigorously kick up plods of snow, making them sail backwards through the air and plummet into the soft ground with a gentle patpatpat of snow against snow. As they run the dense snowfall obscures our direction, making the distant path stretch, bend and writhe with movement behind the mass of glittering snowflakes, like wolves dancing on the back of a giant, twisting, ivory serpent. I can hear the wolf pack breathing hard, hauling the sleigh wildly forward with all their strength as the soft tinkling of fresh snowfall surrounds us in all directions.
And then it occurs to me;
We are wandering alone in mysterious terrain, directionless and at full speed.
Instantly I feel fear and confusion rise up in my stomach as the impact of isolation sets in, I hunch forward and place my head in my hands. The snow continues to cascade downward as plod after plod is kicked through the air.
Suddenly the pack unanimously digs their heels into the dense snow, bringing the sleigh to a complete stop. The wolves stand there panting, their hot breath transforming into a misty vapor as they catch their breath, their muscles relaxing as snow glistens against their silver fur.
I pick my head up, curious of this new development. I hesitantly step out of the sleigh and place my bare feet into the cold snow, making my way to the twenty-one, wild-looking silver wolves. One by one I unhook them from their tether as their eyes watch in excited anticipation. I watch, expecting them to run wildly into the woods away from the sleigh, leaving me alone in the snowstorm.
They turn to face me, each taking a seat in the snow as they stare deeply into my eyes; ears open and bodies alert.
I once asked a spiritual teacher of mine a very important question.
Being an individual who spent the majority of her free time alone, isolated from others and deep within nature, it was an unusual occurrence for me to accept an invitation to attend a large, community gathering and discussion. Although I had always been aware of my vast connection to spirit and the natural world, my willingness to share my experience with others had been extremely hesitant, as to avoid judgement by others. Due to some wild spark of curiosity, I had decided to attend regardless of my hesitancy.
I watched and listened as many inquisitive individuals posed questions about physics and mathematics in relation to what we know about the Universe and the concept of spiritual/vibrational presence. I kept completely quiet throughout the three hour discussion; mouth buttoned tight and ears open wide while each question was answered willingly and honestly by the featured guest speaker.
Then unexpectedly, a question materialized out of the ether in my brain.
“Huh. I wonder how he’ll answer THIS one.. ” I thought to myself as I raised my hand.
The speaker made soft eye contact as he motioned me to ask my question.
Without any hesitation, I began;
“I have been a [intuitive] seer my whole life. Sometimes the images I see make complete sense to me, often times foreseeing events that occur in the future. However, I often see images I don’t understand or have any connection with. How do you decode the images YOU see?”
The speaker looked at me and was silent for a moment.
I thought to myself, “Gee that sure was a good one. I think I stumped him..”
He looked me right in the eye and said very slowly, “If you don’t know what they mean, then they probably aren’t for you.”
My jaw dropped as the blood drained from my face in reaction to the sudden deflation of my ego bubble.
He went on, “It sounds to me like you are in need of a community to share this information with.”
That was the first and last question I ever needed to ask him.
It is a common ambition nowadays to be self-reliant and independent in order to be properly prepared for a life free of dependency. We study, partake in mass amounts of higher education, press our delicate noses into hard-covered books and take pride in our desire to finally complete the inner glossary of knowledge in our minds. Sometimes within this mindset of attaining complete independence we can become isolated; experiencing our days with blinders on, swimming within the depth of knowledge packed into our consciousness. We can overlook the fact that our individual language is created by our experience of the world around us; often times through information gifted by others through personal interaction.
Since my experience with my first open circle many years ago, I have grown to greatly enjoy sharing information through community and interactions with strangers; a tradition I have adopted fully into my own practice and one I hope to pass on to future generations through my work. In this tradition, the act of gathering in circle is the creation of a safe and sacred container where each person is honored as the teacher they truly are; each having cultivated a life filled with experiences that are completely unique to that individuals existence. In this way every person has valuable information, as they have lived a life that no other being on earth has or will ever live. They have a unique and unparalleled experience of life that can only be relayed through their words, actions and expression. There is no certification or degree for being this kind of teacher; it is based on a level of awareness and experience achieved only through personal understanding of your own existence up to this very moment.
Our understanding of existence and time on this earth and in these bodies is truly measured by sharing and receiving information; from pleasant meetings for tea to even vicious arguments with someone who just ruthlessly cut you off in traffic - or even through the spontaneous impulse to gift a flower to an absolute stranger. In every interaction we are continually adding to the vocabulary of our collective understanding of life.
If we perhaps look beyond certifications, financial accumulation or career successes to see worth as a concept that stems from something as basic and remarkable as personal existence, then we would see everyone’s expression as being worthy to share..
…and simultaneously, something worthy to learn from.
Share your wisdom widely, kindly, graciously and generously with everyone you meet on your journey; as your experience may help someone else on theirs.